i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
