I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
so much tequila, so little girl.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
