it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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