proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
