This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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