4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
