Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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