ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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