So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This baby is an asshole
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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