How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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