she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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