Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
