Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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