i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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