there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You made out with two different species that night
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
