he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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