Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
