This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
