I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize