oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
