she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
