At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
third nipple confirmed
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize