I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
