I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
