yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
