I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
