Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
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