He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
