i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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