so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize