Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
