we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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