So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
