"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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