Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
