Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
