And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
