Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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