im about as happy as oj after his trial
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's official drugs can't kill me
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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