I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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