I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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