Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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