I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize