I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
