Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
