and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Terrible idea I love it
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
