The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
