This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
