I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I party with great urgency now.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize