Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize