Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
