I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
there is glitter all over my balls
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
