We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
