Got a toothbrush?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
