i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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