This dress was meant to end up on your floor
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
