just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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