Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize