I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
