it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
