Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
