Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
