i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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