I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
