my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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