I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
